Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Life without a bra equals bliss.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize