Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
