I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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