used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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