There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
