Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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