Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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