I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
