Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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