Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
