there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize