She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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