some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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