well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Don't EVER smell your tampon
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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