the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
