I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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