put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
