i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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