Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
