me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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