Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Randomize
