I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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