left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
sarcasm needs its own font
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Randomize
