Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
