very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
