How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize