return my video game
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
