using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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