Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
