Welp...herpes.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
