well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
