OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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