I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
