sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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