...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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