oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
