It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Someone signed my nipple.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize