508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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