I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
If I die, sorry about rent.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
