Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
