I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
As shirtless as possible
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
