Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
