whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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