Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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