Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
