tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we made out on top of his cat.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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