My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
