Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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