can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
