Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
