i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
