I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
