He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
