I just made out with a guy for $7.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
