I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
COCAINE IS GR8
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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