they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
