That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
