Sry I called you an 8
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
