WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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