We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
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