I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
