the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
