foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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