I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
