i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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