Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
As shirtless as possible
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
