lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
